School. AKA, the black hole of motivation and a void of all hope. (You might’ve guessed from my previous blogs that I can be pretty dramatic.)
I’m just finishing up finals this week and man, is it tough! Not the material, per se, but simply to find some motivation.
But I actually love what I’m studying, I thought. So what’s wrong?
I think it’s just the Semesterly Burnout, when after 3 months you’re really just ready to move on to new things. I realized this is a lot different than the lack of motivation I was feeling exactly around this time last year. Enveloped in fatigue and stress and at a complete loss, I was only sure of one thing – I didn’t want to do this anymore.
In a slightly impulsive decision, I switched programs from Science to Arts, losing two years of hard work.
But it’s so hard to figure out if that depletion in motivation is temporary or permanent.
To figure out when you keep pushing and when you simply wave the white flag.
Actually, I take that back. Changing plans isn’t “waving the white flag.” I don’t think it’s surrendering or failing.
What was holding me back last year was my fear that a switch would seem like giving up. Like quitting. There was still a part of me that was hopeful that I could push through this little drought.
But switching plans isn’t failing. As long as you have a new goal, as long as it’s a decision that still moves you forward, it isn’t failure.
It’s simply a new route. A detour.
I think everyone burns out at some point. But if you can’t see yourself moving forward within the next 10 years, it might be better to think of a new long-term plan. Looking back, I’m really happy that I was able to regain my motivation from the depths of the “Lost & Found” of school.
Now I just have to fight through Finals Week.